


It is goodbye then.

by pistashanut



Category: British Actor RPF, Jaguar "British Villains" Commercial, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Actor Tom Hiddleston, Actors, Alternate Universe - Actors, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Coffee Shops, F/M, Heavy Angst, POV Second Person, Post-Break Up, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24892297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pistashanut/pseuds/pistashanut
Summary: You ended things with your boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston. A year later, he found his way to you.
Relationships: Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Tom Hiddleston & Original Character(s), Tom Hiddleston & Original Female Character(s), Tom Hiddleston & Original Female Character(s) of Color, Tom Hiddleston & Reader, Tom Hiddleston & You, Tom Hiddleston (Jaguar "British Villains" Commercial)/Original Character(s), Tom Hiddleston (Jaguar "British Villains" Commercial)/Original Female Character(s), Tom Hiddleston (Jaguar "British Villains" Commercial)/Reader, Tom Hiddleston (Jaguar "British Villains" Commercial)/You, Tom Hiddleston/Original Character(s), Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s), Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s) of Color, Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s)/Reader, Tom Hiddleston/Reader, Tom Hiddleston/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	It is goodbye then.

**Author's Note:**

> I heard Adele's Hello on the radio and I thought I should write something. Here it is.

Tom was slouching in front of you, his face buried on his hands, elbows perched up on the table. He looked up to you, his eyes starting to turn red. “Why?” He croaked.

You bit your lip, your own eyes stinging, blurry from the tears building up. You looked outside the quiet cafe that both of you occupy, among other people quietly minding their business. You silently thank yourself for the heavy rain pouring outside, people wouldn’t mind what’s happening inside the cafe nor notice the two of you.

Tom wiped his right eye with his palm, patiently waiting for you to reply. He looked at you and thought you still looked beautiful even with your disheveled state - your hair up in a messy bun, your eyes red behind your glasses, your lips trembling.

“You and me...it doesn’t add up. It doesn’t work,” you quietly told him.

He dropped his arms on the table, palms up, inviting you to place your hands on his like he always does. But you kept your hands under the table, acting like you have not noticed. He clasped his hands together instead. He cleared his throat. “Did I do something wrong, my love?”

You closed your eyes and a trail of tears fell from your eye. _My love._ You always fall for that. No matter how you feel or in what situation you two are in, you always feel cozy and safe whenever he calls you that. But this time, you try not to give in - _hard_.

Your eyes hovered to him. You didn’t want to fully face him or else you won’t let this happen. You didn’t want to give in again. It was a lost cause. “I’m so sorry, Tom. I just can’t do this anymore.” You removed your glasses and dropped your head. “I’m sorry. There’s no other way to do this.” Your tears pooled on the table.

Tom’s tears started to fall. “Why? Where did I go wrong? Was I not...enough?” His voice cracked.

“That’s the thing, Tom.” You looked up at him and despite your eyes being blurry, you can still see the sorrow and confusion masking his façade. “You’re enough. You’re more than enough.”

“Then what seems to be the problem?” He leaned forward, his hands still on the table, still wishing you’ll hold him. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

The pain in your chest worsened when he said your name. You finally brought your arms on the table, he offered his palms but you crossed your arms close to you. “It’s me, Tom. I am not enough for you.”

He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes in silent agony. He tried to understand how you thought you were not enough for him. He did everything in his power for you not to feel any slightly less than what he thinks of you. For him, you were enough. You were more than enough.

He couldn’t resist himself and held your arms. You exhaled a trembling breath. “Why would you even think that you’re not enough for me? I have told you a million times that you are,” he explained, hurt and a hint of disappointment laced his deep, shaky voice. “I did everything for you not to feel like lesser than anyone.”

“Tom, I’m sorry but I’m losing myself,” you blurted. “I lost my sense of self and it has been a long time since I felt that,” you trailed off as you recollected your thoughts.

He watched you divert your attention from his hands holding you to the raindrops racing their way down the glass. He watched you pick up your glasses and put them back on. He watched you take a deep breath trying to calm your nerves but you both know it takes forever for you to calm down.

“And you think breaking up with me can help you recollect yourself?”

You slowly nodded. “I’m sorry. I know it’s selfish.”

He pulled back from you and went back to clasping his hands in front of him. “It is,” he deadpanned. You looked up, worrying about what will happen next. You never heard that tone from him ever. You watch as the lines on his face turned from hurt to disappointment, to anger, to despair. “Have you ever thought of how much this would hurt me?”

You pressed your lips together, finally biting on your lower lip too hard. “Of course I did,” you spat. “I told you, this won’t be easy for both of us.” Your voice went a note higher. Anger was starting to boil deep inside you. You just want to get over it. “Tom, I’m really sorry.” You dropped your voice. “There’s no other possibilities where we can fix this. This is the only way. I just...I need to be with myself. I know you mean good.” You finally reached out and held his hand. Your eyes were already dry and it started to sting. He saw your hands on his and held them. “I know you love me and I love you too.”

He picked up your hand and placed it on his cheek. He closed his eyes and fresh tears fall. You lifted your free hand and cupped his face, wiping the tear with your thumb. “I’m so sorry, Tom. Just remember that I love you and you were the best thing that ever happened to me.”

He smiled sadly over the tears. You dropped your hand as he pressed his lips on your other hand for the last time.

* * *

_A year later._

You walked up the red carpet, smiling and posing for the cameras. It was the awards night’s after-party. You were in a good mood as you received your best actress award for that drama film that you were in earlier that night. One of your co-actors who became your close friend waved at the end of the entrance and you skipped to his direction when you saw him.

He hugged you tightly for the nth time that night. “Congratulations! I knew you were gonna get it!” He patted your back.

“Thanks! Well, you drove me insane.” You winked at him and both of you laughed as he escorted you to where you had to get your award. On the way to the booth, you saw the orange-red curls that you have come to memorize for almost a year. You gulped and you pulled your friend to the bar instead.

He whipped his head towards you. “Hey! I thought you were gonna get your award first?”

“The line’s long. I can wait.” You jerked your head on the line. It was true, the line was long and you didn’t want to be stuck in the middle of the crowd that minute. But the primary reason was you just didn’t want to bump into Tom. This was your night and you don’t want your heartbreak to ruin it.

You asked for a martini from the bartender when you heard someone say, “she wants that shaken, not stirred, like Agent double O seven.”

You knew who that was.

You turned and, true enough, it was Tom in all his glory. You nodded at the bartender and smiled. “Yes, please. Shaken, not stirred.” You checked to see if your friend was seeing this but he was nowhere to be found.

“It’s better,” Tom added with a smile.

You froze, your eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “Yes, it is better,” you agreed, rather awkwardly, as you try to look at him without making eye contact.

Before the day began you promise that you were going to avoid him at all cost but, here he is, standing right beside you. Of course, he found his way to you.

Tom bent closer to you. “Congratulations, by the way.” You gave him a polite smile as you picked up your drink. “I saw the film. Your performance was convincing.”

 _Because I couldn’t think about anything but breaking up with you_ , you thought.

“Thanks.” You lifted your drink and took a sip. “Congratulations, too.” You gesture to his award. “Though I have not yet seen your film. Must be good, as always.”

He giggled. _Damn_. You missed his ridiculous laugh. Now that he’s beside you, you wanted to fling yourself on him and kiss him. Let him wrap his strong arms around your waist and lift you from the ground. Call you his love, whisper sweet nothings to smutty things in your ear, making you blush furiously. Grab his hand and plant a kiss on it. Cuddle next to him as you two watch a scary movie, Tom also covering himself with a blanket during the scary parts and missing the important details that came upon those scenes. Running each other’s hands at every inch of your bodies as you make love during the weekends when you’re both free. Tracing each other’s laughter lines...

“Are you listening?”

You snapped back to reality. “Of course, of course,” you lied.

But he knew you too much. “You weren’t. You’re lost in your thoughts.”

“I’m sorry. What were you saying again?” You sipped your martini.

“It doesn’t matter now.” Your heart sank when he said that. “I just miss you so much.” You glanced at him dolefully.

Your lips parted and your eyes dropped. You noticed a ring on his hand. “You have married,” you muttered.

“But I was never happy,” he hopelessly replied. “I was happier with you.”

“Tom, darling! There you are.” You heard a woman say. You veered towards the voice and the woman wrapped her arms around Tom’s hips and kissed him on the lips. “I was looking everywhere for you.”

Tom beamed at the woman. “I’m sorry. I got caught up with my friend. Let me -” Tom stopped when he turned around and he found the seat next to him empty.

You grabbed your award from the booth - your name freshly engraved at the pedestal. You pulled up your dress and asked the valet for your car. After a minute your black car stopped and you climbed into the driver seat, tossing your award on the faux fur coat on the passenger seat. You turned the steering wheel as you fought back the tears that were clawing their way out of you.

_It is goodbye then._

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry.  
> Kudos are appreciated :) let me know what you think!  
> Follow me on Tumblr @ whyispistashanuttaken!


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